Birthing Pains

Is it all just my ego? My experiment with See, so
There is no real journey, just illusion and turning
O'er many new words there. My pretending I do care
Might be what I do. Like be clever and show,

Just how many new thoughts. Expanding dirth and draught
Of any true meaning, from Wisdom not gleaning.
I sit here with the words, and listen for fresh turds
To come out to answer, my questions make more clear.

But while sometimes I hear, thoughts that make my heart stir,
Sometimes I must force it, and it's painful to sit.
When then will it happen, not Symbols but Love send?
The flooding now into, my Heart and Mind blended?

I'll make all the Symbols; the words, sculptures and goals
And pray that in some way, Symbols they just don't stay.
Or else I'm just kidding, myself and not ridding
Me of my real tortures. Just pretend it's fortune.

That really I'm a King, with out any clothing.
With all my Round Table, not telling Truth able,
To look straight in my eye, and tell me that I lie,
And this is illusion, my pride's fool delusion.

Then I will go away. Just live then to play.
But if there's some meaning, if Birdies' Seed gleaning,
Please tell me how I seem,
Before my exit scream.


Birthing Pains
by Loveson G. Flower
7/21/97